又做了男朋友出軌的夢，與以往不同的是，特別真實，也記得特別清楚，醒了這麼久感覺心還是很疼。
說一說夢吧，他通過我認識了我的研究生同學，一開始我就發現了女孩的不對勁，有意無意的往他身上蹭，果然他沒有經受住誘惑，上鉤了。
我看了他們的聊天記錄，和撩騷沒什麼區別，好多成年人的話題，碰面的時候也開始曖昧，在我面前開始眉目傳情，也有肢體接觸，我看到了他剛開始和我在一起的害羞、局促的樣子，女孩則撒著嬌讓他幫忙，一副我是綠茶我怕誰的樣子，我站在旁邊，感覺自己是局外人，大腦嗡嗡作響，不知所措，我還想著在人前給他留一絲情面。
在回家的路上，他拒絕開車送我回學校，我徹底爆發了，在馬路上歇斯底裏，大喊大叫，不顧旁人眼光，我打了他好多個巴掌，我罵他沒有人性，怎麼能這樣對我，他執意的告訴我，他真的喜歡別人，要和別人在一起了。我用指甲劃破了他的臉，很長的一道口子，然後我返回，找到女孩，讓她自重，也打了好幾個巴掌，他一直都想保護她，看他為她緊張的樣子真刺激，想和女孩說些什麼，女孩甩開他的手走了，我看他蹲下抱著頭痛苦的樣子，可笑又解恨，失去了一個愛了他好久的人，也失去了一個讓他有新鮮感的人，最後我還是決定毀了他，我把他們的聊天記錄到處傳播，發給所以我們共同認識的人。後續不知道了，因為心臟疼醒了。
如果真有這樣的事，我都不會理論吧，直接走人就好了，我這麼好，不愁嫁，是他配不上我的好而已。
回歸現實，現在他還在呼呼大睡等他醒來我還是會把這個夢告訴他，還是會抱怨，會告訴他我受委屈了。
很多時候，夢都是無厘頭的，但是有時候也是生活狀態的投影，上個月忙忙碌碌，壓力不小，也發生了很多事，所以這個夢倒不如說是預謀很久的事，只是體面分開，無關出軌。
也是通過這個夢，我意識到了其實我好多地方做得不夠好，我們互相深愛，這已經是這個快餐式愛情時代中最為珍貴的了，他是很直的男生，也挺好的，至少單純，脾氣易燃易爆炸，性情中人。其他的我真沒什麼可挑剔，對我很好，把我的學習生活也照顧得很好。
和我在一起之後，他做出了好多改變，而我還是在比較，總覺得他是進步了好多，可是他現在的狀態還不如有些男生剛談戀愛的狀態，一開始就是暖男，一開始就會做一個會控制好自己情緒的成熟男人 。
我忽略了，他就是他，他和我在一起應該是他最真實的樣子，因為我應該是他最信任的人，毫無保留的人，他不好的地方我應該更有耐心一點，我是陪著他長大的人，而不是總在責怪他，怎麼還不長大。
是我在這段時間給我們的感情留了退路，這個夢倒是讓我清醒了很多，我也以為，我可以全身而退，因為我原本就是個灑脫的人，才做個夢而已，我在夢裏像個瘋子一樣。還是會放不下，一起經歷了那麼多美好，一起為對方做了那麼多事，有那麼多快樂、回憶。
還是決定勇敢，發生過得不愉快，好好解決問題，沒有原則性的問題還是會好好的在一起。
啊哈哈哈哈哈，夢裏他的出軌對象會不會就是之前的我，不會吧，我沒有那麼瘦，並且我沒有那麼綠茶，嚶嚶怪，更不會勾搭有男朋友的人，眼神都不會給好不好，我可是個正直的好孩子。
大清早的，記錄一波，心情也平復了。
睡個回籠覺。
早安，起床的人們。
~
Did boyfriend cheating dream again, and the past is different, especially true, also remember particularly clear, wake up so long feeling heart is still very painful.
Talking about the dream, he met my graduate student classmate through me. At the beginning, I found something wrong with the girl. I rubbed against him intentionally or unintentionally.
I watched their chat logs, and liao SAO makes no difference, the topic of a lot of adults, meet also begin to ambiguity, in front of me started to flirt, also have physical contact, I saw him first and I together of the appearance of the shy, awkward, girl with charming let him help, a pair of green tea, I afraid of who is I like, I stand beside, feel like an outsider, Brain buzzing, overwhelmed, I still want to give him in front of people to save a little affection.
On the way home, he refused to drive me back to school, I completely broke out, hysterical in the street, Shouting, ignoring the eyes of others, I slapped him many times, I called him inhuman, how could he do this to me, he insisted that he really liked someone else, and should be with someone else. I scratched his face with his nails, a long line of cut, and then I came back, found a girl, let her self-respect, also played for slap, he always wanted to protect her, to see him for the way she's nervous is exciting, what want to and the girl said, girl off his hand away, I see the way he squatted down holding the head pain, goofy, and lost a loved his people for a long time, And I lost someone who made him feel fresh, so I decided to destroy him, and I circulated their chat logs to everyone we knew. Don't know the follow-up, because the heart pain woke up.
If there is such a thing, I will not theory, just walk away, I am so good, not worry about marrying, is he does not deserve my good.
Back to reality. Now he's still sleeping and when he wakes up I'm still gonna tell him about the dream, or I'm gonna complain, or I'm gonna tell him that I was wronged.
Most of the time, dreams are gratuitous, but sometimes it is also the projection of the state of life, last month was busy, pressure is not small, also happened a lot of things, so this dream is rather premeditated for a long time, just a decent separation, not cheating.
We love each other deeply, which is the most precious thing in this era of fast food love. He is a very straight boy, and he is also very good. At least, he is simple, and his temper is flammable and explosive. Other I really have nothing to be picky, very good to me, my study life also take good care of.
With me, he made a lot of changes, and I still compare, always feel that he is a lot of progress, but he is not as good as some boys just fall in love with the state, at the beginning is a warm man, at the beginning will do a will control their emotions of mature man.
I ignored that he is him, he and I should be his most real appearance, because I should be the person he trusts most, without reservation, his bad place I should be more patient, I am with him to grow up, rather than always blame him, why not grow up.
Is I in this period of time to our feelings left a retreat, the dream is let me awake a lot, I also think, I can get out, because I was a free and easy person, just a dream, I in the dream like a madman. Still can not put down, experienced so much good together, together for each other to do so many things, there are so many happy, memories.
Or decide to be brave, have a bad time, solve the problem, no problem of principle or good together.
I'm not that thin, and I don't have that green tea. I wouldn't hook up with anyone who has a boyfriend. I wouldn't give you a good look.
Early in the morning, record a wave, the mood is also calm.
Take a nap.
Good morning, people who get up.
~